You Can’t Step In the Same River Twice

The annual canoe trip was almost three weekends ago (August 18th-20th) so I’m here to give you the rundown on our favorite budget trip of the summer.

We drove up to Roscommon and the Canoe Harbor Campground Friday after Seth got off of work. We set up our tent just before full dark set in (thank goodness, because it was brand new and our first time pitching it). We hung out with a couple friends and had a beer, and then went to sleep with both pups inside the tent.

In the morning, we headed to the gas station to buy ice (because warm beer = no bueno) and meet the rest of our friends, and buy McDonald’s for breakfast (so good but so gross). We headed over to the canoe livery and loaded up the canoes. We were brave this year and brought both dogs again, despite the fact that Reliant has gained 60 pounds since last year’s trip. The first 20 minutes or so, we were 100% sure we were going to flip the canoe as we desperately tried to counteract the dogs shifting from side to side with no warning. Thankfully, both of our dogs are fairly intelligent and they figured out that the boat rocking was directly correlated with their movements. After that they both moved much more slowly, and even laid down some of the time. We received many compliments about our well-behaved dogs as we paddled down the river. I also sang my customary Pocahontas Disney songs poorly but with great enthusiasm. 

While the dogs were very good in the canoe, they did prevent us from stopping along our route to party with our group. It just seemed too hard to pull the canoe up to the side of the river, have the dogs scramble out like idiots, run around unsupervised until we could get out ourselves, drink a bit, and then have to try to haul them back into the canoe amid the chaos of everyone else taking off. It was hard enough to get them in the canoe when we launched. So that was a little disappointing, but otherwise they did great. Due to our lack of stops, we beat basically everyone back to the campsite, where we promptly got ourselves a beer. For the record, when we pulled up to the side of the river, Foxy hopped gracefully onto land, and Reliant tried to follow but instead fell half into the water and half back into the canoe like a fat kid executing a belly flop. Then they generally ran amok and pestered some boy scouts until we could get the canoe ashore.

After that, we made dinner (I made hot-dog sized pigs in a blanket and cheese fries over a fire you guys!) and just drank, basically. There was the usual gathering of firewood and subsequent caber tossing. If you are unfamiliar with what the hell a caber toss is, it’s a Scottish competition where dudes in kilts take turns lifting up a log that is slightly skinnier on the bottom than it is on the top and throwing it. The object is to throw it forward and flip it 180 degrees. The closer your flip is to 12 o’clock (aka straight), the better you did. Google it if you need a visual. It’s pretty cool, and Seth always participates. Usually our friend Mike does as well, and generally a smattering of other end up joining in, depending on how heavy the caber is and how drunk everyone is by then.

After dinner, once it starts to get dark, we usually get a game of wolf going. Basically it’s a social strategy game, where either the side of good or the side of evil wins, and roles are randomly assigned. If you have never played wolf, it’s too complicated to explain in this post, but maybe I’ll explain it in another if people are curious. Between wolf games, I usually lead a quick trip to the river for skinny dipping. By then it’s so pitch black that no one can see you anyway, and I firmly believe it’s good for your psyche to be naked in nature once in a while. A good way to get in touch with our ancestors or our evolutionary beginnings, if you will. People are always hesitant to join me until I start stripping and jump on in, usually shrieking with delight and cold when I resurface. Then it becomes a party (or at least a small gathering, depending on the group).

Eventually people start straggling into their tents. In the morning, all manner of hangovers can be witnessed, as well as those chipper few who managed to escape that fate. After someone who doesn’t feel like dying (this year, me) rekindles the fire from the night before, we all cook breakfast and then hop back on the river for another four hours of canoeing. In my opinion, the second day is even prettier than the first, and there are less drunk people as obstacles. Unfortunately, this year Seth and I had to get picked up early, along with two others, because Seth’s hangover was so bad that he couldn’t survive the temporary rocking of the canoe that the dogs caused. We’ve never skipped out on day two before, and while it was a little disappointing, it was nice to beat traffic and get home a little early to get some chores done before work on Monday. Definitely missed the usual end-of-trip dinner, but there’s always next year.

All in all, the costs broke down like this:

Campsite for two nights: $26 for EVERYONE (but we usually just foot the bill for it)

Canoe for us for two days: $50

McDonald’s: $10.51

Beer and booze we’ve had at the house for ages: $0

Groceries: $21.63 (including hot dogs, puppy chow for all, ramen, trail mix, etc).

Gas: about $15

Grand Total: $123.14 for the weekend

My favorite yearly weekend away is never a budget breaker. Thanks as always to Paddle Brave Canoe Livery for the great service and prices. To my fellow canoers: peppermint schnapps!!