And by “it” I mean anniversaries. Seth and I are the kind of people who prefer “experience” type gifts over material gifts, so when our first anniversary was coming up, I called dibs on planning how we’d celebrate it. I had spent the previous summer making pretty regular trips to Traverse City for work and fell in love with the clear water, beautiful beaches, and great food and beer culture, and I wanted to share some of that with Seth. So I booked us a little apartment for the weekend on AirBnB. We were just a few blocks from downtown and the AirBnB included the use of bikes, so we spent a lot of time biking from place to place, which was good because there was an awful lot of beer and whiskey to sample! We spent the weekend hitting some fantastic breweries, taprooms, and distilleries. We had dinner at my personal favorite, North Peak, discovered that jalapeno mustard is amazing at Seven Monks, liked the whiskey so much we bought a bottle at Traverse City Whiskey Company, and enjoyed the quirky atmosphere at Rare Bird, Right Brain, and the Workshop. Aside from all that beer and food, we enjoyed some time at the beach and some window shopping while we rolled around town on our bikes. The only thing I would’ve liked to do that I couldn’t quite pull together was go out on the bay in a boat (but there’s always next time). We had a great time and didn’t want to leave after just a weekend!
This year, Seth called dibs on planning our anniversary. He didn’t tell me a darn thing about what we were doing. I tried to get him to give something away, but surprisingly, he totally stonewalled me. He is usually terrible at surprising me, but this time he sure did. I never would have guessed that we were going on a hot air balloon ride! When we showed up I was totally flabbergasted when I saw those big baskets! We took off from Island Lake State Recreation Area, and flew approximately north up to almost 3,500 feet! It was a gorgeous, clear day, and we could see for miles! We saw smoke stacks lining Lake Erie, other balloons over Flint and Fenton, buildings in Lansing, Ann Arbor, Detroit, and even Canada. When we landed, we touched down in a big backyard in a Milford subdivision, and were swarmed with screaming, waving kids. We spent some time shuttling them up and down the yard in the balloon, and then they helped deflate the balloon and pack it up. We did a little champagne toast to our anniversary with the kids’ parents before we left. It was such a fun experience! We stopped at Draught Horse Brewery for a drink and some dinner before we headed home (shout out to their KILLER mac and cheese!). Before we left the restaurant, we agreed that switching off on the responsibility of planning our anniversary experience instead of getting each other gifts is a great idea, and formally shook on keeping it that way forever.
Now, agreeing to trade off planning our anniversaries is great for a number of reasons. First, it takes the pressure off my poor husband. Guys always get a bad rap for forgetting anniversaries, or not doing enough or not buying a nice enough gift. Pardon my French, but fuck that. I’m half of this marriage too, and I should be equally responsible for making the day special for my husband (and not just in bed, that’s a cop-out ladies). By agreeing to switch off every year, we know who is responsible and we each get a turn to show the other how much we love and appreciate them. It also makes it easier to come up with something awesome to do! I only have to come up with a killer idea once every two years, and I can be inspired by the great idea my husband had the year before, so there’s less pressure on the same person year after year. Additionally, we’re not buying each other stuff just to have stuff. If there’s something I really want or need, Seth will get it for me as a gift just because, or I might buy it for myself if I can. But stuff doesn’t celebrate our relationship, we do! Spending money on experiencing something together really gets to the heart of an anniversary celebration, in that we do it together and it further nurtures our relationship!
Two disclaimers before I sign off. Experiencing something together doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to tell Seth to take two weeks off for our anniversary next year and take him to New Zealand. But that’s a bit extravagant for our current budget and life plan right now. I hope to be able to do that in the future (and we have plenty of time), but if next year rolls around and all we have money for is a hike in a great place he hasn’t been before with a picnic lunch that includes all of his favorite foods, then that’s what we’ll do. A great experience together doesn’t need to cost a lot, it just has to be thoughtful. Second, just because you’re not the one planning the big day doesn’t mean you can’t show a little appreciation. Last year I planned our anniversary, but Seth can home with a beautiful little bouquet of happy yellow flowers for me. This year, I didn’t even know what we were doing, but I took some time out of my day and brought Seth some lunch. Those are just little tokens to show we care, but they still mean a lot. 